Julian

Ten years ago, on a winter's night, a snowstorm struck the fortress of the Free Smith's Guild.

The Church of Light "purified" every Free Smith led by Terizla on the accusation of "pledging allegiance to the Abyss", sparing only the leader's six-year-old son.

The poor boy wandered aimlessly on the street for days, scared and distraught, and was found by the Church only when he was on the verge of starving to death. The Archbishop saw a special talent in the boy and granted him the name of an ancient saint—Julian, before sending him to the Raven's Nest, a special academy affiliated with the Monastery of Light.

Standing on top of a cliff, the academy was home to talented orphans gathered by the Church. The young, broken, and gullible were its favorites. The Archbishop told them that children abandoned by their families were not worthy of love, but he would give them more than just love; rebirth. Which must then be repaid with gratitude and loyalty: they must become "Ravens"—a secret force that cleansed the world of all heretics and demons.

Julian, out of severe trauma and distress, lost all the memories of his past life, and the ones that stayed greatly scarred him. The joy and love were all buried by the ashes of that horrific night; the fire, the gut-wrenching screams, and stone-cold corpses. He was haunted by the nightmares that repeated every night: where his mother left him in a corner and ran for her life, begging for mercy, without much of a second glance back at him...

Not all memories that remained were terrifying, however. The boy also remembered a strange gesture: pushing the corners of his mouth up with his hands, forcing a stiff smile. He always did this subconsciously, as if the heart and body remembered but the mind could not. Try as he might, the boy couldn't recall his life before that fateful night, nor what came after.

The children at the Raven's Nest were called Nestlings. They did strenuous chores and studied tomes and combat moves during the day, and by night, they stayed in separate compartments carved out of the side of the cliff to pray and rest. Each child would be given a holy name, as a taste of their rebirth, a name equal to prayer; a mantra, for each time they refused to respond, a punishment awaited them. Could be as simple as a few whips, to the extreme as starvation or immense isolation.

The lives of Nestlings were lonely; raised in solitude, with prayer as their guidance and violence as their nature. But Julian found family among the other "guests" in his cave: a crumb hungry rodent, a chirping sparrow, and a goat he was assigned to feed. On every cold and windy night, they would listen to the boy speak of his loneliness and fears. To him, they were more family than the brotherhood of empty husks and puppet masters he'd lived with.

With their company, Julian worked diligently at the academy and was one of the most excellent students in labor, academics, and combat. Pleased with his remarkable growth, the Archbishop praised Julian. However, it didn't go unnoticed among the few envious Nestlings.

One night, Julian returned to his chambers, only to find his family sprawled, lifeless on the cold stone floor. The gory sight triggered something in the boy, the suppressed nightmares that haunted him, but instead of animals, he remembered the faces of dead people. Dizzy and nauseous, Julian failed to notice the other Nestlings had surrounded him.

A squat Nestling snickered in sick delight, "Rodents stand for unfaithfulness. Sparrows, ignorance. And goats for weakness… Your faith is weak, no more worthy of love and rebirth than those filthy heretics!"

Julian's vision blurred, all he could feel was his blood surging in his ears like thunder. His fists clenched and his mind went blank.

The next thing Julian knew was a member of the faculty pulling him away from his target, the Archbishop watching from the entrance. The severely injured Nestling lay on the ground, unconscious, while Julian stood unsteadily by the wall, trembling, as if he'd fallen into ice-cold water.

He closed his eyes, awaiting the Archbishop's punishment. Yet none ever came.

"Jealousy... A shame, what a waste of effort. Excommunicate him!"

The punishment was more terrifying than execution! "What about me?" Julian silently asked himself.

To the boy's surprise, the Archbishop patted him on the shoulder, rather proudly even.

"Julian, you did well, child." The Archbishop said. Puzzled and afraid, the boy said nothing. "You took care of those things in the corner, didn't you?"

Julian was at a loss. He looked over at the animal carcasses in the corner, filthy, cold, and insignificant. The Nestling's words echoed in his mind—your faith is weak, no more worthy of love and rebirth than those filthy heretics!

"Didn't you!?" The Archbishop's voice was like a pair of hands, wrapped tight around his neck, as Julian's body quivered in fear. After what felt like a century, he lifted the corners of his mouth and forced a stiff smile on his cheeks.

Early silver hues of the morning light peeked from the east, half of Julian's face was illuminated by the sunlight while the other lingered in the shadows. The boy nodded slightly.

"...Yes, Your Grace. I got rid of them, for my rebirth."

The Archbishop petted Julian's vibrant red hair, satisfied by the boy's resilience, "The fear and dread of you shall be upon every beast and fowl. Your verdict be accepted by every soul that walks the earth. And every path Light shines upon, by your hand shall they be drawn."

A bizarre light flashed in Julian's dark pupils. He raised his hand and summoned a strange weapon, proving himself in front of the Archbishop. Disillusioned by the warmth of the man's embrace, his empowering words, and his crippling isolation, the boy surrendered.

Julian knew, to earn more of this forgotten love, he must be the strongest Raven of them all.

Several years passed, at the age of fifteen, the Nestlings faced their final assessment before they'd be honored as one of the Ravens: either to infiltrate the enemy bases, scout the Abyss, or eliminate heretics… even the most elite Nestlings would be worn to a frazzle. But once they passed, they would return to the Monastery of Light. The bright spire would be ahead of them, as their faces lit up with hope—just one more step away from their "rebirth"!

But the toughest test had yet to come…

Around the corner in front of the Monastery, someone would call a Nestling by their birth name. Should they fail to resist, they'd be excommunicated and considered a heretic. Ultimately, a future target. The purpose of this was to test if a Nestling was loyal enough to forget all about the person they once were; if the Nestling had fully accepted their "rebirth".

Julian passed the test. Over the past years, not a single moment did he dare to forget the Archbishop's words: Ravens must forget their past! But he was never a pure Raven. In the depths of his heart, there was always a force that protected him from completely losing himself. He didn't know what this force was but it persisted. Like two conflicting voices in his head; the Scarlet Raven and the lost little boy.

Late that night, Julian sat alone in the dark and unknowingly made the gesture again: lifting the corners of his mouth with both hands to a forced smile. Why should he smile? Julian didn't know and it mattered little to him now. He had become the strongest Raven.

When Xavier blew open the city wall and fled with Yin and Melissa, the Archbishop sent Julian on his mission, "Poor Xavier's mind had been poisoned by heretics, he should be given mercy." Julian chased them in the forest for seven days and seven nights and eventually caught up with the traitor and the two outlanders, exhausted and weary.

A battle was inevitable, and there was no clear winner between the strongest Raven and the greatest Arbiter of Light. During the scrimmage, Julian's hair was blown up, revealing a scar above his right eye. The rogue Arbiter was stunned at the sight, as if he'd recognized it, and took Julian's next strike hard.

Xavier could fight no more, yet he still struggled to protect Yin and Melissa. He laughed, "If it is you who've come to purify me. Then so be it. After all, your mother..."

Upon hearing those words, Julian froze; his eyes wide open, "My mother— You know of my past!?"

Xavier hesitated for a moment, for he swore to let the past die in peace. In the end, he relented and revealed the truth: that winter night, little Julian was hidden in a corner by his mother…

The memory of the snowy night a decade ago hit Julian like a bolt of lightning. He saw his mother's face; the very one that had haunted him for years was actually gentle and loving… With a frightened smile upon her trembling lips, she held up Julian's face, forced a smile on his lips, and said, "Mommy is going to lure them away, everything will be fine... When you don't know what to do, Smile..."

And then she was killed by the Ravens, before Xavier keenly noticed Julian hiding behind the crates.

Little Julian didn't know what was happening or what reaction he should have. The only thing he could think of was how his mother lifted the corners of his mouth.

He forced himself to make a trembling smile.

The smile tugged hard at Xavier's heart. Xavier was touched, and so he left with the Ravens and spared the boy.

"...That is the truth."

He remembered— In an instant, what was left forgotten for ten years suddenly became clear; the life he had as a son of the Free Smiths, the fires inside the furnaces, the warmth of his mother's embrace, and the wooden toys his father gave him... Julian's hands trembled violently. A Raven that had found himself could no longer wield his sword without hesitation. His mother had loved him dearly and had risked her life to prove it. He was never abandoned nor unloved, the love he'd always known was stolen from him.

Right on cue, Alice suddenly appeared at the entrance of the cave with her demon troops. Xavier and the other two were gasping for breath after days of chase and battle. They would not survive any more fights in their condition, not with the demons. Amid peril, Julian stepped forward, putting himself between the three and the Demon Queen. He asked the three to escape through the rope bridge, before cutting the rope and meeting the demons head-on.

It wasn't protecting them in Julian's book. Eliminating demons was the first order of the Ravens, but this was no longer merely a mission for the Scarlet Raven. If he were to learn more of his past, he needed Xavier alive… perhaps there were more secrets he'd kept from him.

Despite having faced a battalion of demons, the Demon Queen herself, and unwittingly disobeyed his master, Julian only saw his mother's smile in his mind, and for the first time in the last ten years, his smile wasn't forced. He was at peace.

He finally found himself and learned to smile genuinely again.

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